I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
