its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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