Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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