i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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