you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
