The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
