ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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