Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
