I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
