You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
