I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
