The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
