thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
