Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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