When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
