i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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