Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.