I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
