I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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