1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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