she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize