Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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