Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize