Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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