dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
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