i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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