I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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