I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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