I feel like abortions should bother me more
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
