She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish i was in the wii world.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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