I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
