Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
