i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have aggressive nipples.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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