I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
