Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
