if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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