so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
