I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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