There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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