Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
God I need to hump something, right now.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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