So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
