I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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