do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
