we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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