i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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