Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
