i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I don't think brook has ever known best
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
