Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
