And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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