Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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