There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
