me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
