Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm jealous of your bromance
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
