you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
