You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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