so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Green mimosas i think yes
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
