I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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