Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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