your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
