Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
