just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
