You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
