Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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