drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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